Shocking: Man died on top of two women; He was billed for a field trip in Afikpo the next day. The night before, he went for another kind of field trip. An extracurricular field trip.

He was a Geology student. Every year, his department organizes academic field trips to different locations. Afikpo was a common feature. With its huge sedimentary deposits of sandstone ridges and low lying shales, mapping the outcrops and studying the depositional history of the aged rocks, is the task students undertake when they visit Afikpo.

The field trip to Aluu is different. Aluu has no geologic features of interest but her own outcrops come in human form of various shapes, sizes and complexion. A fresh outcrop with lavish features had caught his fancy and he had a point to prove. His friends has regaled him with tales of their escapades. They told him how they lasted for hours and left the beneficiaries gasping for breath. He was desperate to impress. He wanted to make an impression and there was one sure way to pull that kind of stunt.

The next day as other students started trickling in and filling in the bus, he was nowhere to be found. The field trip was more than what he bargained for. The drugs he took was meant to enhance his performance, but it did more than that. He was like a turbo charged battery. After dismounting the fourth time, his drilling pipe was still standing albeit wearily. He was tired and exhausted but the damn thing won’t go down. It was standing stubbornly with all the sore pain that came with the many hours of overuse. He mounted yet again and by the time he was done, it was day break.

He managed to join his colleagues in time before the bus eased away from Choba. But he knew something was wrong. He felt light and empty. His eyes were hot and bloodshot. It was not long before his body temperature spiked. High fever had kicked in. Only him, knew the reason for his strange ailment. The field trip was over even before it began but he couldn’t go back. That will mean risking an F. He had to bear the misery he brought upon himself. All the pleasure of the previous night had disappeared and its place, a throbbing headache was threatening to burst his head into splinters.

He survived but he learned his lessons. It was the last time he ever contemplated cheating on his natural abilities. Some are not so lucky. Many have lost their lives in their bid to play superman. I understand satisfaction but I don’t understand solitary confinement. Why will you banish orgasm and spend precious manhours on a task that doesn’t bring eternal life? How are you different from election riggers and match fixers, when your famed exploits is a work of pills.

Don’t kill yourself. There are better ways to die. Don’t die on top! What will you even tell God? That you died spreading the gospel of iniquity.

Tufiakwa!

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